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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Are You Going To Crawl Under a Porch and Die?



First I gave you a mantra from King Lear. Now I'm going to give you another mantra from my husband. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a mantra. In fact, I'm not exactly sure what to label it, but it's a phrase of sorts that helps me place life's obstacles into perspective...

Do you ever feel utterly defeated when something goes totally wrong? Ever throw up your hands and think, this is hopeless? Come on, be honest with yourself.

Whether you're trying to lose weight, find a new job, mend a broken relationship, deal with an unbearable boss, change the course of your life, quit caffeine, quit alcohol, quit any other drug of your choice, get pregnant, move cities, deal with your parents, fight a disease, stop working so hard, make it to the gym more, practice yoga more, WHATEVER you may be facing. We all confront challenges in our lives. Sometimes they are small challenges. Sometimes they are freaking big major challenges. Regardless of what it is - sometimes we just lose faith and think it's hopeless to keep on fighting.

I'm here to tell you that nothing is hopeless. Keep fighting.

I think we do ourselves a disservice by mentally waving our white flag and giving up on things when we come upon some hurdles we seemingly cannot surpass. It's in these very instances that we have to draw upon our inner warriors and take some serious action - even if it's just making a mental determination not to give up.

I used to complain and whine and feel totally helpless when the going got really tough. And my husband had the perfect response to these fits. He used to say, "Well, Roxy, I think you should just crawl under a porch and die." Sounds harsh, I know. But it worked. Picture this: Me: "My life is OVER. I didn't get to practice yoga at all this week because I had to work 12-hour days at the office five days in a row, and I even missed my best friend's birthday party. My friend probably hates me now, I'm never going to make it to yoga again and this deal I'm working on is driving me crazy!!!!!!" Doug: "Roxy, I think you should just crawl under a porch and die." (I know this scenario is on the somewhat insignificant end of the spectrum of the severity of life's challenges... but hey, I'm trying to keep this light).

Doug's tough love response is pretty brilliant in my mind because it puts everything into perspective. Of course I'm not going to crawl under a porch and die because I missed a birthday party, haven't made it to yoga class and am working on a crazy deal. For one thing, I don't even have a porch. But more importantly, my life will go on. My workload will eventually subside. I will mend my relationship with my friend. And I will some day make it back to my happy place - on my yoga mat. And even if none of that stuff happens, my life will still go on.

When we come upon a roadblock in life, what's the use in just stopping and indulging our negative, counter-productive, completely nihilistic thoughts and emotions? Wouldn't it be better to use that energy to power through the roadblock, or else find another route around it?

Happy persevering,

oxox roxy